My Golden Rules

A brief collection of things that have helped me struggle sadly through life so far.


Wanna be as happy as this small child enjoying the most glorious view in all of existence? Well, I’ve compiled a little selection of life tips that may help you achieve this level of bliss. Read on, friends.

I’ve only been alive on this planet for nineteen years, so I’m not in any position to give life advice to anyone over the age of eight, but I’m going to throw around some ideas that I’m forming currently. Just some things that I’ve noticed work for me in most situations. Or some things that I’ve noticed work for other people.

So here’s my short and likely undeveloped guide to success:

  • Lemon-scented Mr. Clean fixes anything that could ever possibly go wrong in your life. This is my number one rule. This product has never failed me. If I could carry a bottle of it with me 24/7 without looking like a crazy person inhaling ammonia, I would. I firmly believe that a comfortable (lemony) environment is a natural step to leading a happy life.


This is just an example of my obsession with lemon-scented Mr. Clean. Best moment of my life.

(Follow me on Twitter: @_aubsrey_)

  •  In any given situation, you have two choices: laugh or cry. When faced with any sort of obstacle or troubling experience, you can laugh or cry. When presented with either of these options, I generally choose the former. This is not me saying that nobody needs a good cry every now and again, because they definitely do. But I believe that laughter can ease a lot of situations that would make you feel hopeless if you sunk into a wallowy, self-pitying state. Which we all fall victim to here and there.
  • Fake it ’til you make it should be your new life motto. I swear to all things holy this works. It doesn’t matter if you know what you’re doing, as long as other people think you do. Obviously if you do something important (i.e. doctor, police, military, etc) then you should probably actually know what you’re doing, but for the rest of us unimportant earth-dwellers, this rule is absolutely a viable means of clumsily clunking your way through life.
  • Your sense of humor is your new best friend. Being nice will make you a pushover. Being mean will make you an asshole. Best to be one of those funny people who can take charge every now and then. People will never quite know when you’re serious, but they will listen regardless. People might even like being around you; everyone loves a good laugh.
  • Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. And return the favor. This one we’ve all heard a billion and three times, but it’s so true that I had to put it on here. You are absolutely allowed to cut people out of your life who make you feel, for lack of a better word, like shit. Once you’ve found those people who make you feel good and inspired, you’ll wonder how in the hell you ever dealt with those people who didn’t make you feel happy.


Here’s me with (some) of my people, ruining a picture that would’ve otherwise been great.

I’m sure there are lots of more psychologically healthy ways of leading a happy life, but these are a few stepping stones that I’ve gathered through experience. Granted, little experience, but experience nonetheless.

I’ve decided that I’ll put up a post every Monday, about various things that are happening in my brain, so I can’t guarantee anything particularly insightful, but maybe some of it will be mildly to moderately entertaining.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you all continue reading in the future!


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