Sleep Is For the Dead

These past couple of weeks have not been good to my sleeping schedule. I’d say this happens two weeks out of every month, so I’ve just got to ride this wave. But I’m going to explain some things to those of you who fall asleep in .002 seconds. I envy you forever. 

  1. I have a sacred ritual that I perform in order to sleep. My room has to be clean before I go to bed. This includes making my bed. I wash my face, brush my teeth, put on pajamas, put my phone on sleep mode, and slide into bed. Then I lie in bed and think about everything forever. 
  2. I wake up at 2 in the morning wired for no reason at all. It’s dark outside, everyone is asleep, and all is quiet. What am I doing? I’ve just reread the first Harry Potter for the 12th time and I’m thinking of making some cookies. Because I do my best baking in the middle of the night. It runs in the family. 
  3. I have some freak-ass dreams. Because I can’t sleep, I try to nudge it along a little by taking melatonin supplements, which do help me fall asleep, but by no means keep me asleep. And it gives me some great break-in dreams, to boot. It mostly gives me nightmares so I avoid taking it unless I’m absolutely desperate.
  4. I turn into a grouchy asshole at about 4 o’clock. I’m sorry if you’ve ever come into contact with me while I’m in my grouchy asshole state. Please don’t take it personally. My brain is sleepy and tired and I don’t feel like a human who is alive, so please if I say I don’t want to leave my house, it’s not because I hate you. 
  5. I have tried everything under the sun. I’ve tried melatonin, sleepy time tea, that one root that smells like feet, meditation, hot showers, everything! Nothing works. So while I appreciate the suggestions, I’ve likely already tried it. But if you come up with a mysterious, magical solution, by all means let me know. 

This is an issue that a lot of people struggle with, especially here in America. What the heck is up with that? So I’m curious to see how many people I know deal with this. Let’s try and make it a fun game. How do you pass the time when you can’t sleep? We should start a 3am book club. Full of 3am discussions. Sound good? Okay. 

Fun fact: I wrote this at 3:30 this morning. 

Thanks for reading this week!



2 thoughts on “Sleep Is For the Dead

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