Happy Monday! I hope everyone had great weekends. And I hope you’re not having too rough of a day today! I’m going to get real today. We’re going to talk about kids. Which is always, if not fun, at least interesting. So here we go.
I get asked a lot if I love my job. Do I? Yes. Absolutely. 100%. Do I also get frustrated at my job? I mean, I watch kids, so yes, absolutely, 100%. But today, I’m not going to sugarcoat anything. We’re going to talk about my job in way that is both honest and I think very much relatable. Let’s get into it.
Brutally Honest Truths of Being a Nanny
1. Sometimes I really don’t like kids. Yeah, they’re cute and sometimes they’re funny but sometimes you want to run away screaming at the top of your lungs. Lots of days are like this.
2. Kids can be so mean it’ll blow your mind. They don’t get what they want? Be prepared to be insulted in any way they think will get under your skin.
3. They are insanely annoying. I’ve heard my name shouted across the house more in the past two years than I have in my last twenty combined. Sometimes my own name makes me want to cry now.
4. Misheard lyrics are my new favorite thing. Uptown Funk has never been so confusing.
5. My Care.com profile makes me sound like a schmuck. And a fake. Because honestly, nobody over the age of twelve “enjoys” playing Barbies with bossy four-year-old girls.
6. The smell of Tyson chicken nuggets actually makes me want to vomit now. I really, truly don’t know how much longer I can handle it.
7. I’ve used the phrase “I will bury you in the yard” more than ever in the past two years. Sometimes they just need to hear it.
8. They will challenge you. And it will get to you. They will ask you questions no normal human knows the answer to and then roast the shit out of you when you say “I don’t know.” (i.e. “How do you say mammoth in Spanish?” “I don’t know.” “YOU DON’T KNOW? YOU’RE TWENTY AND YOU DON’T KNOW?”)
9. You will probably stop your car in the middle of the road to yell at them for hitting each other at least once a week. And they’ll look at you like you’re insane.
10. They won’t let you read to them. They just won’t. Every other word is a battle. And by the time you’re done, you’re crying and they don’t even know what story you just read.
11. They will quote stupid TV shows so much that you’ll know exactly which horrific episode is on from the other room. Jessie is forbidden now.
12. You don’t get to do things you like anymore. Want to listen to your own music in the car? Tough shit. Want to read your new book in silence? Don’t think so. Want to watch ANYTHING other than Spongebob? Too bad.
13. They give you an excuse to relive your childhood and watch seventeen episodes of Scooby-Doo in one sitting. Really, there’s no shame in that.
14. Sometimes they’re so much fun, you’ll wonder how they can be so awful other times. Especially when they laugh so hard when waitresses/cashiers/etc think I’m their mom.
15. I love them way more than I expected I would when I signed up for this job. They’re never getting rid of me. Seriously.
Thanks for reading this Monday you guys. I love my job. Sometimes it makes me insane, but I love it.
I hope all goes well this week! I’ll be back with a Wednesday Recommendation, so make sure to check it out!
Have good weeks, my friends.