My Five Rules of Arguing

HAPPY MONDAY.

So this past week, I’ve had a few arguments with some people. Thankfully, all parties in each argument knew how to argue. BUT. I’ve been thinking about the different ways in which people argue. Verbally, non-verbally, passively, etc. And some people don’t know how to argue. Are you one of those people? It’s okay. That’s why I’ve written this guide to arguing for people who can’t argue. Read on.



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If there is one thing that makes me mind-bogglingly insane, it’s people who argue purely for the sake of arguing.

Why.

WHY.

Some people like it. These people often refer to it as ‘debating’.

“Do you think this is an argument? Are we arguing? This is debating.”

I am uninterested in arguing the semantics. Generally, if one individual in a ‘debate’ thinks said ‘debate’ is an argument, then it’s an argument. So, just getting that out of the way.

But let’s talk about the people who START arguments and then…leave them. They’ll leave you hanging, high and dry. And this is another thing that makes me mind-bogglingly insane.

This leads us into Arguing Rule #1.

  • If you are going to start an argument, then finish it. Don’t fly off the handle at someone and then refuse to discuss whatever you flew off the handle about. #shitty

Example: 

You: Hi, friend! How has your day been?

Other Person: WHAT THE HELL YOU’RE SO PUSHY, LAY OFF

You: …What

Other Person: JUST FORGET IT. I’M OVER IT. *Storms off*

You: *Confused, cold, and scared*


 

That would be the WRONG way to handle that argument, person who just flipped a lid.

Let’s take a look at the RIGHT way to handle that situation.


You: Hi, friend! How has your day been?

Other Person: WHAT THE HELL YOU’RE SO PUSHY, LAY OFF

You: …What

Other Person: *Sees that you are confused and that they are being unreasonable, so reconsiders.* I’m sorry. It’s frustrating to me when I’ve had a long day and the second I walk into the house you ask me questions.

You: *Thinks this is ridiculous because you only asked a simple question, but also understands the other person’s point of view.* Okay. I’m sorry. Go get comfy and we can turn on a movie. 


Clearly, this argument is ridiculous and the other person has something of a short fuse. Regardless, explain yourself. Communicate.

Or there are the people who scream at you for hours and then won’t let you get a word in. Which leads us to Rule #2.

Arguing Rule #2.

  • Give the other person a chance to argue back. There is no such thing as a one person scuttle. And screaming is no bueno. Nobody will ever react well to being screamed at.

I don’t think we need an example of this one. Pretty straightforward, yeah?

Arguing Rule #3.

  • Don’t swear. This one is hard sometimes, because we all get frustrated and swearing is an immediate reaction to that. But all this does is put the other person on the defensive. They shut down. And then you’ve gotten nowhere.

Arguing Rule #4. 

  • Don’t beat around the bush. If something bothers you, come out and say it. Nobody likes the passive aggressive stuff. It leads to misunderstanding and just perpetuates whatever argument you’re in the middle of.

Arguing Rule #5. 

  • Have an organized argument. If you don’t know exactly why you’re mad, maybe don’t fly off the handle and just start saying words. You’ll confuse whoever you’re arguing with and probably yourself.


So. This is my personal guide to arguing. Of course, I don’t follow this all the time, but we’re all working on ourselves, huh?

Off topic, but I think it’s worth mentioning that one of my friends made fun of me the other day because all of my blogs are in a list format. Organization is key.

Thanks for reading today, my friends! Argue away!

Have good days/sleeps/not sleeps/etc.

-Aub

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One thought on “My Five Rules of Arguing

  1. Gee, I sure do suck at arguing. This really helped. I mean really. You are so smart and awesome. Have you thought about running for president? Keep blogging lady.

    Like

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