Hola, friends of mine. I hope your lives are wondrous and fruitful and full of happiness. Hopefully, the weather is putting us all in better spirits!
When my brother and I were younger, probably around 10 and 11, our mother used to ship us off to Kentucky to spend the summer with whoever would take us. So one day we might be with our grandma, the next our uncle, then our aunt, etc.
Well, aside from having many wonderful, strange, strange memories from these summer-long trips, I gained a lot of wisdom from the people around me that I’d like to relay to you all.
With the help of my brother, my cousin, and the rest of my family, I’ve compiled a list of wisdoms that I’ve collected throughout the past ten or so summers. Or Thanksgivings. Or any other spontaneous semi-family-reunions.
1. Don’t ask old men why they only have three fingers. Because they’ll probably tell you. And it’ll probably be terrifying.
2. Don’t taunt ghosts in large, scary, mostly-abandoned, super haunted tuberculosis hospitals. You might get your hat smacked off your head. By a ghost? Who knows.
3. Please try really hard not to stare at the Amish people on their scooters. They don’t appreciate it. They’re just living their lives.
4. Maybe don’t go into a wave pool if you don’t know how to swim? More likely than not, you’ll have some 8 x 10 glossies flashing before your eyes.
5. There is never a bad time for peach ice cream. Not ever. This one doesn’t need follow up. Pretty point blank. Peach ice cream is the only thing you need in your life. (@Graeter’s Ice Cream)
6. If you’re staying at a cabin in North Carolina for a family reunion, listen to the sticky notes the owner has left lying around. Or else. Haunting not guaranteed, but highly likely if sticky note directions are ignored.
7. Don’t take used yard sale socks when offered. Just don’t. Please trust me on this one. The opportunity will present itself. You must decline.
8. Always lick candy before giving it to family members. It’s with love. I promise.
9. The term “fun-sucker” is a great way to guilt trip your aunt into doing things that probably aren’t smart. The guilt trip probably won’t work, but fun-sucker is a fun term anyway.
10. Cards Against Humanity is always advisable with your friends, cousin and aunt and uncle. Does it get a teensy bit awkward? Yeah, but it can’t be any worse than playing the STD game. (Yes, I swear this a real-life card game. Not recommended for family settings.)
So, although you all may not have had a chance to spend these summers with my family in particular, I can imagine that we all have memories in the same vein. Our families are ridiculous, but there’s nothing more enjoyable than spending time with them, especially when we’re in…uh…strange situations.
Do you all have any weird family bits of wisdom? Share them!
I hope you all have neato weeks and enjoy the time you have with the people you love.