The Sweetheart Epidemic and RBF

“Hey sweetheart, this isn’t in a mug.”

“Hey sweetheart, I know what you can get me.”

“Hey sweetheart, when are you done serving these yuppies?”

“Hey sweetheart, you should try to smile a little more, you look miserable.”


My name is not ‘sweetheart’. I have a name, and a voice, and a pretty damn strong sense of self. The ‘sweetheart’ epidemic has been in full force since the day women were created and it’s about time it’s done.


Here’s what I hear when you call me sweetheart:

“You are not important enough that you deserve a name.”

“You are not worth addressing in a way that is more than objectification.”


And honestly? I’m pretty fucking sick of it. The majority of the time, it’s older men I hear this from. Generally, older men with some money. Who think they are above me because of their status and their gender. ‘Sweetheart’ implies superiority.


Is it always said maliciously? No. Actually, it’s hardly ever said that way. A lot of the time, people don’t realize they do it. I’m not blaming anyone. I’m pointing out that I have a name that is worth using. I am a whole person. I am not delicate and meek and born to serve you. I laugh too loudly and call people on their bullshit.


And on the ‘smile more’ front: If I had to count the number of times someone told me I have ‘Resting Bitch Face’ I wouldn’t be able to fit them all on both hands, and probably not on my toes either. Fuck that. My face is not here to make you comfortable. I was not placed on this earth to prance around, beaming radiantly, picking up after your messes and asking ‘what can I do for you now, sir?’


Do not call me sweetheart. Do not tell me to smile. I am here, but I am not here for you. 

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Image by SSGA


Rant over for the day. So sick of this though. Women are more than sweetheart. On the topic of women, the girl they put in front of the Wall Street bull has taken my heart. If we are being totally honest, it made me cry. Because I am a mess, and because the message of women’s EQUITY was so clearly displayed, and displayed proudly and beautifully.



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